Upper Mickey management, yes. I used to work for a chain I'll call crapplebees, lol. I was offered a position with them after a year employment that would require travel. Most of it would be revamping their training program and working with a crew that I already was helping in the corporate office...but I was a bartender. I turned it down. I was 22. I didn't want the disjointed life then, I don't want the disjointed life now.

He was not given a promotion, he has simply moved up the product line in the same position.

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In the past, I have suggested that you consider getting help so that being "left alone" is not so devastating for you... In that way, perhaps you would feel that travel once of twice a year is not worth ending a marriage over. You did not like that advice.

Perhaps it is not clear to you that this is sacrifice. If I knew at 22 that traveling for business was not something I wanted in my life, why do you think I should accommodate that at 40? If I did not want to go MYSELF, why would I be okay with my spouse going?

This isn't rocket science. This isn't some big secret, or conspiracy to make my H feel bad and ruin his life. I have a long-term ingrained objection to it, for myself and anyone I share my life with. Why are you insisting that I am wrong in my own self-assessment? I already said, I'm fine with being alone. I'm not fine with being alone AND in a relationship. What is so hard for you to figure out about that?


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)