You fibbers really boff up people's lives, ya know that? Not just yours. smile

The last couple of days I've been struggling a LOT with this fib: my H told me quite a while ago, while we were doing really poorly, that he only said he wanted to have babies with me because he thought he was sterile and didn't think he'd have to follow through.

I'm trying to reason myself into thinking that he said that because he was being a full-out doodie-pie and didn't mean it, after all, we had another one after that who was planned. Never mind baby #4 who was post-op.

But then I remember him saying, in another doodie-pie moment, that he never thought our first child together was his, because I went out after work one evening the week before Christmas (he was invited) and ran into an old (platonic) friend, and he thought that could be the night that ds was conceived. That child was born at the end of the following November. *crazy*

So, putting together that 1) he thought he was sterile, and 2) he thought our first child together was not his, I can see how he could continue his charade into our baby #2 (my third). Our third (my fourth) was in nobody's plans except God's. smile

Anyhow, I'm feeling kinda borderline and ragey right now, thinking how in the F could someone 1)lie about wanting children 2)not disclose that they believe themselves to be sterile 3)accuse their spouse of gestating for eleven months 4)bring SO MANY PEOPLE into their little boffed up head-games? My word!

It's why I get so furious at people like TomOlympus...I feel like I'm living a totally twisted life, EVERYTHING I KNEW IS WRONG, it is a horrible way to treat someone, especially little children who are brought into this world based on a LIE you told. I hope none of the posters on my thread have been so horrible.

People, just do what you think is honorable and live it. If other people don't like it, well, why you trying to get everyone to like what you do anyway? Don't you know that will be a FAILED effort, no matter how hard you try? Not everyone is going to like you, and if you can only affect other people's reactions by deceiving them, all you have succeeded in doing is deceiving. If that is your end goal, have at it.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)