It wasn't the pill. Same dynamic if I ask her "last week you said Tuesday morning would be 'our time'. Are we still 'on' for today?" The look on her face would make it clear she wanted to spin. I know she figures that yesterday's offer excuses today. Hence the need to have a detailed, caring, understanding discussion of why spontaneous doesn't work for me at this point and why I need her to keep to a schedule.

A couple in love and without a history of mismatched libido would be able to navigate this easily. For us, I would rather have various body parts amputated than have this conversation yet again. I know I need to anyway. I will. I will dutifully report back to describe the carnage.

When you can see it coming, duck!