Originally Posted by MelodyLane
EE, we have men on this forum who have full custody of their children and possession of their homes AND are getting child support from their wives. We coached them to file on grounds of adultery and to ask for the moon. And some of them got it!!

While that is not always possible, there are states where men have a huge advantage if they simply fight.

Have you read Dr Harley's book, Defending Traditional Marriage? He believes we should bring back civil and criminal penalties for adultery and has a whole chapter on this.

Additionally, he thinks that anyone who has an affair with the spouse of a deployed soldier should go to prison for 10 years.

Yet those are an even more rare anecdote than the misbehaving husband.

Sure one can win, in what, 1 in 100 cases? Especially if what you and I and Dr H consider to be evidence of being unfit is not allowed in the courts, then what.

You have a fit father who was stable, works up against a stay at home mom who by all state standards is a fit parent. The fight is lost because the evidence of the mother's unfitness is not even allowed in the courts.

I've fought that fight. I kept the house. I see my daughter every Wednesday, every other weekend, two weeks in the Summer and 1/2 of her winter break and claim her every other year on my taxes.

That's actually considered a great deal where I live, but yet my daughter is primarily shaped and molded by an unfaithful ex-wife.

What message does that send when the courts award her mom primary custody? It says mom's behavior was OK, dad is suspect since he can only see her when the courts and mom deem OK.

If you want more folks to fight, make it a winnable fight.

I agree with Dr H, so what. It hasn't changed the laws here. It hasn't retroactively corrected all the situations similar to mine, nor will it. It might prevent such cases in the future, but I suspect that future correction is still a generation or two away.

My state representatives don't care about correcting this. They like the federal money they get for being able to garnish my wages. That's right, there is a federal program that pays states for every child support obliger they garnish from, so they garnish regardless of if the obliger is paying or not to get that federal cash.

So what's the incentive to correct the problem when someone sees money and power in the status quo?