My biological father is a used car salesman. The psychologist thought he had anti-social personality disorder. Seems its very common among salesmen and car salesmen in particular. They are very good at telling people what they want to hear and putting on a show, especially for strangers. But inside they don't care about anyone else and don't have a conscience. They blame others for problems. Its never their fault. They have superficial charm but lack empathy for others.

I wonder if MarriageBuilders even works with someone who has such a personality disorder. Posters that have advised you, and even DrH, assume that people feel guilty or are motivated for the same reasons that most people are. But science shows that anti-socials are motivated by money. Not even pain. They put some anti-socials in an experiment where they were electrically shocked for wrong answers or lost 25 cents. The anti-socials had no learning improvement from the shocks...unlike normal people who learn to avoid pain. BUT...they learned much better than normal people when the loss of money was at stake. People like this are drawn to sales because the more they act nice and fool the customers, the more commission they are paid. Anti-socials don't care if they lie to customers, or cheat, or turn in false papers. They care if they loose money.

So how does a program like MB, which assumes people have a conscience and guilt, work when the other party feels no compunction about abusing others or cheating as long as it produces more money? What if your husband has anti-social tendencies? He is a great salesman...he seems to be able to act nice when he wants to...doesn't seem to have any guilt about what he does....fake salesman smile. Look up anti-social personality and see if it fits for him. You have lived with him for years...if any of it rings a bell, please take it seriously. This is not a disorder that has ever been cured.