Thanks for the notes and suggestions. I'm not giving up, just regrouping and preparing. I need more knowledge to overcome this. You see my wife simply rejects anything she doesn't want to deal with. Because her mother abused her verbally her entire life, her self-esteem is incredibly fragile. As a defense mechanism, rather than accept shortcomings, mistakes, or deal with anything which make her feel bad about herself, she either rejects it entirely or makes an excuse to get her off the hook! Had a fight this morning before I left for work. She told me she hated me which is pretty common. This is a never ending story of repetition. I shut my mouth and just deal with what has become a dead marriage, we avoid conflict, and things at least don't rise to fighting and we can coexist. If I stick up for myself or suggest we work on our marriage it is met with antagonism and ultimately leads to a fight like we had this morning. I left the house in a daze, hurt and lost, then pulled over and sent her a text suggesting she go to right now before she gets busy. Told her there is lots of similar stories from other people and free info and courses. I said a quick prayer that God helps her to make the right decision and not reject it yet again. I haven't gotten a text back that she did this. It will likely not ever be mentioned again by her. She'll simply reject it is my guess. How far does this rejection and excuse behavior go? Oh, you wouldn't believe it. It permeates virtually anything and everything from big things to completely insignificant things. In case you are wondering, her entire family follows the same behavior. Its always someone else's fault so I don't blame her for behaving this way, but I'm desperate for it to change or at least move in the right direction. I'd love to hear some stories from some others that can relate or have dealt with anything similar because I'm way over matched right now. I simply don't know what to say or do anymore and have ZERO control over any outcomes.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD