kt--I keep thinking about what our pastor Jeff said about seeking counsel from people who already are where you want to be. So yes, you are correct, I would not want the counsel of someone who is in a place where her and her H have separate social lives and are happy with that, because it's not where I want to be.

T, that sounds do-able.

I do think his reading this thread has made an impact on him and his attitude.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)