I fail to see the DJ on my part in believing he didn't shoot, coming across evidence to the contrary, and telling him what I found and requesting an explanation. Please stop trying to talk me into 'understanding' deception rather than putting a stop to it. It's an LB, it must stop.

Here's another one that you'd probably like to chalk up to his way of communicating: last week, he told me that one of his old co-workers sent him a customer and that HE would be there to test drive on Friday. I went through his phone. Customer was a SHE. So I asked him, "Why did you tell me that was a guy?" He explained that oh, well, her husband was also going to come to the drive, so he used he. But the customer was the she. I told him it looked suspicious that he would lie about the gender of a customer, and he could have just used 'they' if that was the truth. I asked him what he would think if I told him that I had a meeting with a professor at school and would meet HER at 4pm, and he later found out that it was a guy. Would he wonder why I switched genders? He said yes, that would worry him, why would I hide that? I said EXACTLY. When he convolutes things because of some weird sense that his 'lie' will be better received than the truth (which is so far from the truth it's not funny), he makes things worse and further damages trust.

I told him I'm trying to forgive him for the past and he's making it very difficult by continuing with the little deceptions because that keeps the wounds open.

Of course I'm pleased about the travel. He is surprised and relieved at how easy it was.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)