Have you asked her this? Hilltopper, I know a lot of men who get lost in the produce aisle of a grocery store because they never do the shopping. I think that fact that you do is great! So you forget the bread? You can pick it up tomorrow! You forgot the milk? The kids won't die overnight from calcium deficiency! This is really not a big thing in the grand scheme. But it IS a sign that there is a bigger issue than forgetting something.

I grabbed this from another one of your posts, because I think it may play into things:
How much time do the two of you spend together alone? How often do you take the kids to grandma's for the weekend, or even hire a babysitter so you can get out of the house for a few hours?

I don't think this has anything to do with her childhood, or her mother, or anything like that. I suspect your wife is tired and resents just about everything in her life right now.

Can you come up with some ways to spend some time together alone?

Warning: you need to understand that you'll probably be the only one actively working on this until she starts seeing the benefit of getting away from the kids. Also, she may be initially resistant to doing so. Work on it anyway.