Originally Posted by MelodyLane
If she were enthusiastic about having sex with you, this would not be a problem. Women need 2 things to feel enthusiastic about sex, an emotional attachment to the man and the prospect of enjoyment. What has happened in your marriage is that your relationship has been given such a low priority in your lives, that you have both fallen out of love. With her lovebusters and your comments about her body, I see that spiralling downwards.

The 2 main areas I would address immediately would be 1. lovebusters and 2. spending 20+ hours a week of UA time. If you can't or won't do that, then this will never work. Period. I know its hard with little children, but many folks here manage to get in their UA time with careful planning.

Nagging your wife about sex is not the solution, though. The solution is for both of you to fall in love again.

Originally Posted by Dr Bill Harley
"First I fix the relationship, and nine times out of ten, sexual problems disappear, with or without unresolved childhood experiences. I spend very little time fixing sexual problems these days because most couples I counsel don't have sexual problems after they have learned to follow the Policy of Joint Agreement." here

And I would strongly advise your wife to get on board here, HT. I don't think she understands that she is losing her husband. And if she doesn't do something to stop this bloodbath, she is headed to divorce.

Do you hear me, grace? You think you are getting away with mistreating your husband, but you are not. He is almost at the point where he has given up. When that happens, it is VERY HARD to turn it around. Do you want to be a single woman raising all those kids and holding down a 60 hr a week job? When a wife works this hard to push her husband away, she will eventually succeed. Think on that..


I'm not sure what comments about my wife's body you are referring to you. I can assure you this is not a problem, I think my wife and her body are incredibly sexy as do others! Its not a matter of opinion of my wife being attractive or not! smile

In regards to your comments about my wife getting away with mistreating me and stopping this bloodbath, that is friggin intense. This is not a "see I told you so moment" for me to point out to my wife. I just think it makes it that much more real to have an outside perspective on what is going on. I've given up many times already and I'm scared that one day I won't want to pony up again, in fact terrified. I don't think my wife is "working hard at pushing me away" is she? That doesn't make any sense, why in the world would she want to do that?

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD