To be honest before you told us that she freaked out and said she hated you for "not trusting her", I don't think that many people said anything about any affair outside of just to double check...which is prudent advice given your independent lifestyles and given that A's happen in over 60% of M, which probably is lower than the true # considering that many affairs go undiscovered.

But then after you told us of her reaction, I think it created some more interest because Dr Harley says that getting angry and offended when being questioned is typically a smokescreen of a cheating spouse.

Regardless, the answer is for you two to be transparent and to open all areas of your lives to each other and start spending more time together. It wouldn't matter if 100 people on this board started telling me that my H was cheating on me, it wouldn't upset me and I would feel confident that that wasn't possible because we spend all of our free time together and I have access to all areas of his life.