HHH, in our case, a problem was that I would complain, offer a soluition, and my conflict-avoidant H would agree to it, then PA'ly go against the solution be cause it wasn't his. So I had to back off and let him find his own. I don't much care how something gets solved, so long as it does, so this was quite effective for us.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)