Ok so UA is a big problem for us. Not only do we have an infant that is still breast feeding, but our daily kids and work schedules mean we only get UA at night after 8pm which means were both exhausted typically. This is not the ideal situation to focus but I guess it will have to do. 20 hours is an average of almost 3 hours a day. Currently we get about an hour to two hours at night exclusively watching our favorite shows on TV. Yes I know this is not the best thing to cultivate our EN's but I'm just being honest about what is truthfully going on. So I guess we are spending our time watching other people on reality shows and other stuff and not learning about and enjoying each other, I get it not remotely healthy, uggggh. I'm not surprised at all! I remember back when we were dating(no kids), we'd usually go to dinner, then the bookstore, get wine and snackies with no tv, hang out, cuddle, and of course lots of SF! Go figure we were hot for each other and madly in love. Fast forward 8 years, now we don't do any of those things, and our recreational activity revolves around spending time with other couples with kids our age as well. It is clear to me this needs to change like yesterday. I know its not that many of you haven't told us this, it is more there was so many things we were told to "do" or "not do" it was hard to prioritize and we just ignored that one and postponed it for later. We'll have to come up with a POJA on how to do this as it means our current nightly habits and social arrangements will have to change in order to make our marriage any kind of a priority in our lives. Sounds simple enough so why am I feeling intimidated about it right now?