There is so much that I need to talk about but for now I will try to keep it around the POJA.

My wife and I have been working on the MB course for about 3 months at this point. For many reasons that I will try to avoid at this point we have all but stopped. We have been in an ongoing dispute now for over three weeks with little to no EN's on either side being addressed. There are several extenuating circumstances that I can go over later but for now I want to focus on the POJA.

There are two areas I want some advice in. I am in the market for a new vehicle soon as the one I am driving is quickly breaking down. I have been looking in line for some ideas and have shared those with my wife over the past 4-6 weeks. Mostly I have been looking at new vehicles but I have also looked into used. I make well over a 6 figure income and we live a very comfortable life. The new vehicle I want is somewhat elaborate and perhaps even over the top. I want and feel as though I deserve a nice upgrade from what I have been driving for the past 8 years. My wifes vehicle is our main family one and it is loaded up with all the luxury items. She is VERY upset that I want to spend the money of the luxury items when they are not really needed. this is true however I feel as though I want them anyway. Selfish perhaps but still this is what I want. My wife doesn't work all that much so her income is fairly inconsistant, not sure that really matters but thought I would make sure you knew the whole story. We disagree with what I should be getting and are having trouble doing the POJA. In fact there has been little to no agreeing at all with little to no compromise from her. I have agreed that I will not get a 'loaded' vehicle and don't even need a new one, but she will not relent and tells me that I don't need anything more that an average vehicle. Not what I want and I feel as though I have already done some compromising at this point and she has not.... seems like a trivial thing but it is becoming a HUGE issue in our home.

Now a more significant POJA item. I have an opportunity (maybe) to get a job with a company that I have always wanted to work for. The money is similar not sure if it will be up or down a bit at this point. It is essentially my DREAM JOB and I want it at this point even though I have not been offered it yet. There is some travel required, how much is still not clear. At first it may be as hight as 40-50% but will drop to about 20% from what I can tell. I know this is a HUGE issue for my W and I also know that she will likely not enthusiastically endorse me accepting this position. From what I know about POJA that means I should turn it down.... but it is my dream job! How can I not hold it against her for that. She is already stating that it is a lose lose for her. If she agrees to me taking the job then she will have to accept the travel side but if she rejects it she will have to live with my recentment. I am not going to hate her but I will be very disappointed as this is what I have been striving for for a long time and now that it is here she is having second thoughts.

So how do you propose I use the POJA to serve both our needs? I want a new truck with some degree of luxury and she wants me to get a basic upgrade from the beater that I am using now. Second how can we use the POJA when my W feels that no matter what the decision she will be losing.

It is hard to make compromises with someone that has already made a decision about what the outcome will be.