Lid, the biggest problem I see here is your independent behavior. Both of these problems are a result of your insistence on gaining at her expense. Your dream job could easily become her nightmare and one has to ask why you would want your wife to suffer at your expense? I assure you that her resentment will last much much longer than yours since she will suffer the most. Your resentment will fade quickly, hers will last every day she has to live with your selfish choices.

My suggestion would be to put off negotiation until you become more skilled. Start with the small stuff first like grocery shopping before you tackle the tough stuff.

And I would strngly advise you to focus on the love buster of independent behavior. It is a sure fire love killer.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101