Originally Posted By: jessitaylor
Hilltopper1972,

I was in your shoes a year ago after my husband's affair, I was in Plan A and was doing all the work, I did everything I could, I said what I wanted to say, I made our home a safe place for him to be........
I listened, I cooked for him I told him I understood his feelings and I was accountable for my part.......
I was lucky that he would allow me to hug him every day........he didn't hug back for a long time, but eventually I think he also looked forward to that physical contact between us, it felt right ...........
I would touch him when I walked by..........I would touch his arm when I spoke to him.........I would look right at him when I spoke, it took about 4 months of withdrawal from the OW and all my love deposits to turn things around, now it's him that is working harder than I am in this recovery..........It takes one persons strength and leadership in a situation like this that can turn things around, right now you have to love enough for the two of you.........
Go for it, that's what I did, I looked at it as an opportunity to have the relationship I wanted and I wasn't just lying down and letting it all fall apart.......
I said in the beginning that what the OW didn't take into account in her plan to steal my husband was ME!
All you need is a good solid plan and a lot of patience.........
All the time spent on being a better you and husband will pay off in the end, and look what you will have a woman that will be so madly in love with you. she will be the one making the moves and making you a happy man.....
It does hurt I know I felt that rejection a lot during my process as well........you are strong, keep an eye on the big picture and do what I did, just really enjoy the little bit of physcial you can the hugs, the words........the little touches.....that's good for now..........
Don't rush it, do it right this time..........
jessi


Wow great story, I'm so happy for you and your H. I see a change in my wife which is good and I'm thrilled to get anything I can get. The "affection blow off" thing as I call it takes the wind out of my sails so easily and I shouldn't let it but I do. Thanks Jessi!


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD