Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
I have her list and I've implemented about half of the 13 things she likes. I have plans for some more of the expensive one's next month, so for now just the little things. Its bizarre, she told me what she likes, I do those things, then she behaves indifferent to it anyways? Oh well, I'll guess I'll just have to trust it is doing its job.

We agreed that there is no place for faces in our relationship and it was a massive LB each time I did it. They were not intentional and I'm so glad she figured it out because she could never explain what I did that annoyed her. I stopped the moment she told me, haven't done it since. I'll slip I'm sure here and there but the POJA is "NO FACES!"


I don't know if that's a woman thing, or whatever Hill. The ladies could answer that.

But, I can tell you that my wife is constantly trying to read my face, or more importantly, my eyes. The dang things give me away - they change color with my mood. Makes sense when you consider thing like blood flow and muscular contraction, or dilation etc effecting the refraction of light in the iris.

Because of this, she totally hates when I wear sunglasses.

Part of it is that she is holding me accountable to be emotionally honest.

You have a feeling, your body reacts, and you make a face, or an expression hits your eyes, and they KNOW "that look." After years of courtship and marriage, they learn to read your face, read your eyes.

Anyway, it's awesome that you guys listed out ideas (for each other, right? you gave her a list, too?). The article here is great, but it's like training wheels. Eventually you are going to have to ride on your own, and having her TELL you how she likes her needs to be met is paramount. Her list represents the links in the bike chain, and without those links you will pedal and go nowhere.

Keep it up!


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR