It's interesting that you would label him a sociopath.

It tells me you no more understand him, or accept him than he accepts or understands you.

On one hand, you want him to feel and accept what you feel. OK, I get that. But then how can you be unwilling or unable to give him the same consideration and further label him a sociopath?

You complain about his characterizations about you to others, but still have no problem not holding yourself to the same standard. You are here calling him a sociopath, but complain that he's given others the impression you are a nag.

You are getting exactly what you are giving, and complaining about it.

Just because you can understand and get emotionally touched by a book doesn't mean your husband is going to be the same way. It's not wrong for him to be that way. It's not wrong for you to be that way.

But from this vantage point on the interwebs, it looks like you want him to be like you, but you are unwilling or unable understand that he is not you and will not see, feel or think the same way you do.

I know this isn't the first time I've suggested this. In many ways, I think you are doing yourself in. He accepts his limitations, and I think he is being honest about his ability or anyone's ability to REALLY understand what another is feeling.

For example, until you've been betrayed by a spouse, it's unlikely that you will REALLY understand from an emotional perspective how that feels. You can understand mentally how you think it would feel. But until you've lived it, you likely cannot say you understand how it feels, or feel it yourself.

If he says that, and I think that's the general format of what he's saying, then why are you trying to talk him out of it, or saying he SHOULD be able to do this and if he can't then he's some sort of sociopath?

You are basically saying he should or shouldn't feel the way he does. You criticize him for that, but then you turn around and do the very same thing to him.

So why not accept that he doesn't believe anyone can feel that way from reading a book or experiencing something, without seeking to put the label sociopath on him?

You are who you are, he is who he is. Stop trying to mold him into the man of your design. He's not that man, and he will (rightly) resist your attempts to do so.

He may not be right about WHY he thinks you are crazy, but he MAY be right that you are crazy given that you hold yourself to a different standard than you hold him, and you seek to change him into someone he is not.

I believe it was Einstein who said the definition of insanity is doing the same things again and again and expecting a different result.

Would you agree you are still doing many of the same things with respect to your husband and expecting a different result? From his vantage point, you probably do look a bit crazy.

If you want empathy and understanding, why not offer him the same and knock off labeling him as a sociopath.