As blatantly and honestly as I can express, I don't want to be a 40-year-old single mother of four young children.

I know I'll get beat up for that, and I deserve to.

I didn't get into this life by myself, and I am ill-equipped to go it alone. H and I talked about that last night, too. I told him I resented him taking my years and not loving me, I thought it was stealing. He asked why I hadn;t left, I said I was a 40-year-old woman with four young children, I didn't exactly have a life set up for dating. He asked why I would need to date? I said because I want to have a partner in my life, I find life more fulfilling with someone to share it with. Then he went off on how I never want to go on bike rides, and what did I expect him to do with me? It's just dumb stuff like that, asking me to go on a bike ride in the middle of fixing dinner or getting the kids ready for bed that makes me go, "Really??? Did I put 'bike riding' on the RI? Would you take a look at it and ask me to do the things I LIKE doing, we have 33 areas of compatibility! Ask me to do some of that, when I'm not busy with the DS and FC you demand!"

Ugh, grr, I'm having such a bad day...

But I aced my final exam this morning.