Originally Posted by Prisca
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
I know for certain my wife hated this weekend. I also know that my multiple apologies will not be enough to get over it that fast because I've disappointed her before. If I could just say one more time that my inability to speak up when I feel my wife DJ'd me, or neglected to meet my needs, is a massive breakthrough. I really don't want any of you to overlook this because it is so key in every issue we ever have. After wine tasting when she stared out the window my feelings told me that she was mad at me. No good real reason other than I thought we had a pretty good time and that the conversation would likely continue. Truth is she had a slight buzz after some wine and eating and just wanted to enjoy the scenery! :)I don't have to "assume" things anymore and that is so exciting for me and hopefully will be for my wife as she sees my behavior. Sometimes with people as emotionally dense as I am, you have to tell them the same things in ten different ways until it makes sense. I feel that about this discovery of mine. I also can feel your frustration you likely share with my wife about me not getting it.

Do you recognize those assumptions of yours as DJs? It's great that you see that you don't have to assume anything, but do you realize that when you DO make assumptions, you are DJing her?

But of course! How many DJing Hilltoppers does it take to screw in a light bulb? banghead

That is what I meant by illustrating my wife staring out the window. I'll never again assume anything, I'll just ask, she'll tell me, and we'll be done with it.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD