Hill, I saw a list of funny comments one time about what men want women to know/do. I think this one applies to you:

"If there are two ways to take something, I meant it the way that doesn't make you mad."

You need to give your wife the benefit of the doubt much more than you have.

I also agree with the other poster that you should limit your use of alcohol during your UA time for a bit, as it may be aggravating your anger with each other. I've recently realized this in my marriage as well. Its not always easy to do as I live in Australia and alcohol is always on offer.

Keep at it Hill, you guys can make it.

Oh, one more thing, you need to let your wife explain to you what she means about romance or doing nice things. I asked my husband for more romance and he took that to mean more sex. I said, no its doing nice things for me, and bringing me little tokens that show that he was thinking about me. He just refuted that and said "oh, that again."

So for him romance is cuddling and more sex, and for me its thoughtful acts. We're both right.