Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Originally Posted by markos
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
She did mention that "we shouldn't always point out DJs". Not sure why.

I'm not sure what she might have heard or might be feeling, but our Marriage Builders coach (assigned to us after we went to the MB seminar) told both Prisca and I a number of times that very few couples can successfully navigate a discussion where DJs are pointed out on the spot, and strongly recommended that we just make note of them on the DJ worksheet and give each other the worksheet once a week.

You've said this before but it is so hard to implement. Often times DJ's involve tone and are hard to recognize. Many times I recognize the obvious ones, but sometimes the not so obvious ones take a bit longer. What I do know is that when I'm feeling bad about a comment that my wife makes it is almost always because it is a DJ, not an SD or AO.

I think the worksheet actually makes dealing with that easier! You have some time to think it over and decide exactly what it is that you found disrespectful, and you can include that on the worksheet. As opposed to trying to tell her right then, when you may not know exactly why something bothered you, and you may be feeling frustrated and likely to make a mistake.

Dr. Harley's been handing out this assignment to couples for something like three decades, I think. There must be something to doing it that way. smile


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Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.