Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Ok just apologized for the DJ and told her I really want to hang out with her tonight. Not sure what yet I'd like to do to make up for it, but I'll do that as well, just need a bit more time to plan while at the office.

Great, you are moving in the right direction! Most women like for their husbands to take the initiative and plan something SPECIFIC and make preparations themselves, so keep that in mind. wink

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I'm an emotional person and I feel like my wife knows how to push my buttons at will. I hate that about me.

That's one of the things that is going to change if you hang around here long enough AND IF you keep doing the work that is involved. The relaxation will help. Recognizing that you alone are responsible for deciding to have your own AOs, DJs, and SDs is going to help even more. This is the single biggest factor in overcoming this.

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I have been taking deep breath's at times, but that typically only gets me through the first few.

Be proactive: practice relaxing when nothing's wrong.

Deep breaths are good, but add relaxing your muscles as well. From toe to scalp. smile

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As the day progresses and I'm feeling wronged or neglected, it becomes harder and harder for me to control my emotions.

What you are actually doing is feeding your emotions by dwelling on what's wrong in your frustration. You make the frustration a habit and you entrench habits of response that are not good for your marriage.

I suggest you dwell instead on the plan from this program: eliminating DJs and other abusive love busters entirely, never giving yourself any slack for committing one, always recognizing that no matter what your wife does you do not have to respond with demands, disrespect, or anger. Dwell on the fact that you probably underestimate the seriousness of your own demands, disrespect, and anger, and that once they are eliminated your marriage will probably get a lot better.

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I am working on that. I listen to MB Radio every day including a rebroadcast of Friday's show on the way to work.

Keep it up! Harley's advice always seems to be timely for me.

Don't forget you can send him and Joyce a question to answer on the air. They send you a free book, too. One of the long-timers here brags that she built her whole Marriage Builders library out of free books from asking questions on the radio show. smile


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.