cwmi I totally understand why you're upset and why you want your H to line up his words to outsiders to the values that you and your H share sometimes. All that stuff has upset me too over the years. But you've been here long enough to know that there is nothing anywhere in MB that says you get to decide what he says to other people. How open he chooses to be with other people or not.

I see the issue as a split in values between you two. The tool for that is the respectful persuasion. But there is no guarantee that your H is going to come to share your values.

Have you ever watched the movie Fireproof together? It's a great movie that shows the kind of heart change it sounds like you're looking for.

Maybe this can be a growth opportunity together.

Me 40, OD 18 and YD 13
Married 15 years, Divorced 10/2010