It's all in how you sell it.
Dating is testing the merchandise before "buying", however, you are also being evaluated at the same time. So while finding a guy you are physically attracted to is important to you...you also want a man that is physically attracted to you. Well, since your beliefs prohibit you from allowing him to actually sample the product (and there are many other "competitors" out there willing to let him sample)....you've got to get better at SELLING the illusion/fact that you are a passionate sexy woman (passionate for THAT particular man that is) that is bottling up a vixen.
When you tell the guy on second, third, er...tenth date you need to use your feminine smarts and matured self-confidence to deliver the message that you are waiting for a commitment before you "go there" again but that it's hard...particularly with [such date]. Tell them you have to take cold showers after your dates and/or that you "dream" about them. You have to over sell that you ARE sexual and, in particular, sexual for them...because your actions of withholding most likely communicate the wrong message in today's society. I'm not telling you to lie or be disingenuous, but as an adult it's not sinful to TALK about sex with the target of your affections.
Back in my dating years I had one girl/young lady that wouldn't even hardly kiss me goodnight at the end of a good date. Her friends convinced me she really liked me and I kept going out with her but eventually I stopped calling. It wasn't that she didn't go to bed with me...it's that she didn't seem to have any passion (for me and/or sex in general). To this day I don't know if she was "saving herself" or just, as they say, a cold fish. Communication is the key...verbal and non-verbal. What additional messages are you sending?
You can deliver many subtle and not so subtle messages that you want sex and are dying to have sex with that particular person while still NOT having sex.
Besides...many people wait until marriage for sex...how did those women find husbands? It's not completely unheard of and you need to become more adept at explaining the benefits of waiting to your boyfriends. I'd think, in particular, a divorce betrayed husband might find dating a woman that can control her sexual impulses (and thus not betray him like his ex-wife did) refreshing.
Confidence and salesmanship. The message is not something you have to apologize for or be ashamed of, but you may have to sell it.