Originally Posted By: freefall
Hilltop

Seems like there's a whole lotta talking about sex and very little action in the affection or SF departments. A mother with three young children probably feels overwhelmed, and if she is breastfeeding the baby and her body is not back to its pre-baby state, she may be feeling anything but sexy.

You may need to meet jointly with a physician to discuss the bc issues and use him/her to help mediate a solution.

In the meantime, could you try offering her a full body massage (promising that you will not try to have sex), focusing on her relaxation and the sensory pleasure of having you offer non-sexual attention and care for her body? Removing the pressure to have sex may help her feel more open and loving toward you. Be sure to offer her words of love as well, telling her how lovely she is, how you are in awe of her and her ability to bear you three beautiful children and to love and nuture both them and you.

If you practice non-sexual touch a few times and reassure her that she is beautiful to you and that you are sensitive to her fear of becoming pregnant and the need to share the responsibility of coming to a mutually-agreeable solution to the bc problem, she might become more interested again in sex.

Some women find their sexual responsiveness diminished after childbirth, especially after the birth of a 3rd child. Starting with a non-sexual massage, eventually moving into sexual massage and pleasuring her either manually or orally may help her get back into the mood of fulfilling your need for SF.

Pressuring her for sex or complaining that your sexual needs are not being met will make her less willing to try to fulfill your EN of SF. She may also become fearful that you will leave her or have an affair.


No offense freefall, but since this is your first post I'll let you know that my wife doesn't really need affection, in fact I do. She turns down massage offers, sexual or not. Also complaining is a good thing.


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD