I am a little nervous about the concept of trying to fall back in love with DH. I didn't have to try when I fell in love with him the first time..

Well yes, actually you did. NO ONE could fall in love if they spent 15 minutes together and never met each other emotional needs. You just stopped doing the things that created romantic love and you...........fell out of love! If you are a typical spouse you are spending nowhere enough time together to fall in love. Many married couples might spend 15 minutes together meeting each other emotional needs. If even that. And then wonder why they fall out of love.

Yes, I felt the classic ILYBNILWY; I did not say that to DH (just felt it). I doubted whether I should have married, I acted out in different ways...and, yes, CWMI, I failed to keep the necessary boundaries with someone. Now, thankfully, it went no further than an infatuation on my part. But, I wrongfully and continuously fed that fantasy in my mind. I am sorry for the time and energy I invested in that. I am choosing to put that behind me; I don't even want to think about it (since "thinking about it" is what started the trouble to begin with).

I figured there was a man in the woodpile. Who is the man? What happened? Did you have an affair? Do you still see him? Are you chasing this dude?

And have you been honest with your H about it? Your feelings for this man are the REASON WHY you have fallen out of love with your husband. This OM has a great deal to do with the feelings you have about your husband.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101