Sunshine, Thank you!! for your response. Oh, and welcome to MB. (I see that you are a new member yourself.) It would be nice to have someone to kinda relate to as we walk along this path to make our marriages stronger. (I am sure if we get something wrong, the vets will reroute us.) ;P I have just looked at your first post. We are the same age. And our spouses seem to have similiar behavior.

DH does not take my complaints seriously; he tries his best to avoid hearing them (since he thinks our marriage is perfect). DH didn't even take my feelings for OM seriously...proceeding to invite him over our home and mention his name to me at a minimum of every other day.

My DH will not change, meet my needs or even take what I say as serious.

Perhaps DH does not want to take what you are saying "seriously" but maybe he will change (in spite of himself). I am holding out hope for both of our DHs. smile

My DH does not want to listen to what I am saying...but he responds very enthusiastically whenever I come up with ideas for things we should do. Or if I ask him for something [tangible], he will try to provide it. I am hoping that if I keep coming up with these ideas for RC and UA, he will get caught up in participating with me, he will spend less time on OM, and he will be pleased that I am not being "miserable". Once I have consistently put in some effort, he mght be more receptive to listening to what I have to say. Maybe he will "change" to keep it going (I'm hoping).

DH wants me to be happy. He is never more comfortable than when I am smiling, joking, and playing with him. If he sees that I can behave in a "happy" way, I'm sure he wouldn't want me to have a relapse of misery. Maybe that could help your DH, too??? I don't know.

But the last few days have been great. I feel happier with the choices I am making and that I am genuinely trying.

Me: WW
EA: 04/18/09 til
DDay: 06/30/10
NC letter: 09/13/11 (against DH's will)
2 lovely happy children