Originally Posted By: GloveOil

Do you think he's a distaction to you in your idle moments?
Do you spend time thinking, "if he says X to me, I'll say Y?"


Yes, once in awhile...but it is much less than before. frown Sometimes I am able to replace it with other thoughts (not all the time).

Originally Posted By: GloveOil

Do you feel hesitant about mentioning your feelings to your DH?


No. The only one thing I have managed to do was expose the infatuation to my DH. Lucky [alcoholic] me, DH doesn't care. It's his friend and he is determined to keep the friend.

smh My DH just doesn't understand who he is dealing with. He doesn't understand that I could be so weak. Nor does he understand that his friend can look him in the face practically everyday and still interfere with his life.

Originally Posted By: GloveOil

If the answers to all or any of the above are "yes", then you've got a problem that you can't bury.


I was trying to bury it. Yes.
"Burying it" is NOT a MB concept. Right.

It did cross my mind that if I "just stay away from him" (the friend) and focus my energies on adding romantic love to my marriage (falling in love with my DH again), this could all just go away. Besides DH doesn't acknowledge it as an affair...so we could fix our marriage and this could all just go away. And I felt I was doing okay here recently.

Originally Posted By: GloveOil

When I was a few weeks into my (at the time) EA, it got to the point where I could see where it was headed. So I resolved to end it. Even went so far as to tell OW it had to end. Took my wife away to a B&B for her birthday weekend out in the country, and we spent some great time together. I thought I'd beaten the infatuation.


Yes. This is what is happening for me. (Well, I have NEVER talked to DH friend about any feelings I have for him...as I have been advised against it.)

But, it seems, I can never get it right as long as the possibilty of his friend being near me/communicating with me is out there.

Originally Posted By: GloveOil

As Yoda said in the movies, "There is no 'try'."


I love Yoda! smile

Last edited by heartfelt_1; 08/19/11 08:43 AM. Reason: typo

Me: WW
DH: BS
EA: 04/18/09 til
DDay: 06/30/10
NC letter: 09/13/11 (against DH's will)
2 lovely happy children