fullmoon/heartfelt, I am heartened by your post in response to this. However, I don't think there's anything you need to *do* other than continue trying to learn and grow. I suggested what I said earlier because I do think it's helpful for you to supply that information for others here on the board - for your benefit in being radically honest with yourself, and for a courtesy to those posting to you/reading along. I didn't suggest it in order to open up the gates for a 2x4 flood, and I don't think that will happen as long as you continue on the path of humility and discovery that you seem to be on.

(Wow, I sound all high-horsed, don't I? I will be the first to admit I am in no position to be, well, on my high horse. Having a hard time picking the right words, so hopefully you understand what I'm saying.)

As far as your situation w/ DH and the friend -- as you and maritalbliss have been discussing, you control you. It'd be ideal if your DH were on board, but in lieu of that, guard your actions and implement your own EPs to still protect your M, your DH, and you.

There are a number of times where I have seen posters here with a reluctant spouse off the boards, and I suspect you will get good ideas on how to work MB and, hopefully, introduce it in a way your DH will be accepting of eventually.

Welcome back.