It is aggravating that I see so many WWs disappear. I want to see them succeed and have hope for myself. It took me SO LONG to move forward.

So as an update... (OM) sent me another message in the form of song lyrics that was just...too much pressure. I ended up writing a NC letter to OM and his GF without my DH's approval. I figured at this point, I might lose him if I write it but I'd definitely lose him if I didn't.

This is Day 9 post NC letter and I feel like something that has been...I feel awful. There is a huge difference between passive "no contact" and an NC letter (I see). With this NC letter, I know that I hurt and/or angered OM. OM does not do well with "abandonment" (which I knew beforehand) and I am imagining all kinds of things about how he hates me (as if that should matter). I know that I have "betrayed" him (OM) and there is no turning back.

OM talked to DH about it the next day. DH was quite annoyed with me-- said that he didn't want to come home to me that evening. OM, then, proceeded to invite DH out with him for Friday night (DH didn't end up going)...then, they hung out on Tuesday and were planning to yesterday (until I had an AO).

I felt so bad about discarding GF with no warning that I apologized to her. I have not communicated with OM...but I am confused. With DH being his friend, does that count as my "contact"? Yes?

In other words, is this a lost cause?

Me: WW
EA: 04/18/09 til
DDay: 06/30/10
NC letter: 09/13/11 (against DH's will)
2 lovely happy children