You are in a motivational swamp.

The thing is, if you keep at this, and if you continue to refine and improve your approach, she really will fall in love with you. That will make all the difference in the world. There will appear to be almost no improvement in that for a long time, but there will be a sudden, sudden change. Dr. Harley said he has men wonder if their wives suddenly started taking hormones or something. And it goes on for a few days, and then they dip below the threshold again, and it goes away. But if they keep at the plan, their wives come back up above the threshold again, longer this time, and in this way the marriage improves in "fits and starts" until it is good all the time.

This has been what I have been seeing in my marriage for a year. There have been some truly awful times, and I have also seen what those times are like above the threshold. Every time we go back below that threshold I get just a little bit more information about how to keep moving up, not down. (I also get stuck in motivational swamps!)

Did you listen to that call from Oct 25, with Steve?