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I'm here because I believe I'm stuck in a Pursuer/Distancer cycle that is not getting better. I know one of you asked me to drop the non-Marriage Builders jargon, but I have found it most powerful to draw from all sources to try to understand the best way forward, and that dynamic is the one that resonated with my situation the most.

But that hasn't improved your marriage, has it? So knock it off, and try MB and only MB, at least for six months. Have you read plan A? What did you two do to recover from her affair? Was there exposure? Were extraordinary precautions put in place? How much have you read of either the surviving an affair articles here, the forums, or the book?


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)