I'm about 30% of the way through "His Needs Her Needs" and have a telephone coaching appointment arranged. I also listened to the radio clips that Markos posted on this thread.

That situation does bear many similarities to mine, although my wife is more engaged at this point than the caller's wife, and my wife did not have a physical affair. The advice given was to be a model husband, make constant love bank deposits, avoid all love busters, and expect nothing in return for at least 2 years. The caller didn't think much of that, he said "no way, just not going to happen".

I wonder what the outcome of that case was? Was there a follow up?

I do question if continuing to pursue a spouse who wants more space is really effective. Although you may believe you're making love bank deposits, you may be actually making withdrawals if you're crowding them or if they resent your efforts.