Ac, as I read through your thread the thing that stands out to me is that you don't seem to truly understand your wife. You sound puzzled by her complaints and by the fact that she feels incapable of satisfying you.

The thing is, there are reasons she is feeling this way and you need to discover them so that you can address them. She will stop loving you like a sibling and will start loving you like a husband when you have done this.

Stop being confused and start asking questions, really listening, and paying attention. If she doesn't like boating, check that one off the list and find something else she might like.

If she feels like it is impossible to ever make you happy, that is your fault. You are giving her too much to do at once. Pick 1-2 things you'd like her to work on the most and only complain about those once per week. You are trying to get her engaged and telling her several things you want her to fix several times per week is not going to do it.

I have a tendency to make things sound like complaints when I don't mean them that way. I, like you, thought it was my husband's issue when he brought it up to me, he just needed to stop misinterpreting me. But, the more I read here and worked on our marriage, the more I understood that was I was doing could come across as complaints and that it was easier for me to reword those things or not say them than it was for him to not feel offended. Also, I found that he was less likely to interpret my behavior as negative (like your following too closely in the car example) when I stopped saying things that sounded critical to him.