Originally Posted by markos
Accuray, here are some radio clips of Dr. Harley talking to a husband whose wife is not really coming through for him in their marriage. In their case they are recovering from an affair. You guys are fortunate that you don't appear to have that kind of marital damage at this time. Listen to how Dr. Harley coaches the caller and explains how wives change when their husbands make enough love bank deposits:


I agree with the comments about about not lowering expectations.

One thing Dr. Harley says is that if the husband is on board with the Marriage Builders program, the chances for the marriage are very good, much better than if it is the wife who is on board and the husband reluctant. The husband has greater potential for being able to win his wife back to the marriage by making love bank deposits.

I'm reposting this, because Dr. Harley says exact what Steve Harley and Doormat_No_More say in those analogies. You meet the love bank deposits consistently, every day, and one day without warning your life is like a different person. The pebbles or sand have piled up above the surface of the water. Then there's a little bit of wave or rain or current (a love buster, or your wife is simply present with you during a negative experience) and the pile vanishes below the surface for awhile (your wife goes back to not being in love with you), but you keep piling up the pebbles/sand (keep making consistent love bank deposits, and avoid love bank withdrawals at all cost), and eventually it pokes above the surface of the water, this time with a broader foundation, and eventually you have a near permanent bridge (your wife is in love with you all the time).

If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.