This is disrespectful, I'm trying to help.
I've been doing nothing but asking questions and really listening for almost a year. I just don't get responses. I either get silence, or "that's the way it is".
Okay, then observe her behavior and see what she likes to do. If she enjoys books, get her a book or read one together. If she enjoys shopping, shop with her, buy her a necklace, etc. What does she enjoy about work? Could you experiment with some safe, easy things like buying her flowers, doing more housework than normal, writing her a list of 10 things you love about her, making a pretty photo of her your phone wallpaper, etc?
According to the professionals I've consulted, it's my fault only if that's true, because I'm either crazy demanding, never satisfied, or have unreasonable expectations. The consensus of the IC's and MC's I've visited is that this is not the case, that this is my W's issue, and I can't own it.
Dr. Harley says that your spouses demands will decrease dramatically once you fix just a few things, really start meeting their emotional needs, and they fall back in love. People are often labeled as crazy or controlling when the couple hasn't figure out how to meet ENs and avoid LBs.
If you believe it's my fault, that's ok with me.
If feels like you are disregarding my comment without trying to understand why I made it. Is that what you do with your wife?
My suggestion would be to worry less about your needs at all for a while. Like other posters have said, this tends to be more tolerable for men. Instead, focus on making her happy knowing that the end result will be that she will be more interested in making you happy.
I know my W is hyper-sensitive to criticism
That's a DJ. By the way, as I mentioned before, my husband commented that I criticized him a lot and Steve told me that people who say that often have admiration as their number 1 emotional need, even if they don't say it is - the two are opposites. Perhaps try some admiration to meet her needs.
