Originally Posted by kilted_thrower
Originally Posted by JessicaGC
I don't know about this kilted_thrower. After all she isn't fully on board with MB and assuming that she meant that comment as an insult could be a DJ? I think I'm right in that. Considering that he is trying to FILL not DEPLETE her love bank so he can get her on board with this plan I don't know that responding that way would be effective at the moment.

I understand what you're saying, but this isn't an MB specific thing. Hill feels disrespected by the way his wife is talking down to him.

Think about if your husband were to say to you, "you're silly for thinking like that." Well, you'd feel insulted. He might not have meant it as an insult and doesn't view it as an insult. However, out of respect for you when you tell him you feel insulted when he says that to you, he should stop.

If she tries to argue with him, that's okay. He then simply says, "I'm simply telling you how I feel and nothing more." Then he changes the subject. So he can continue to feel insulted over and over again and she continues her disrespectful interaction and he eventually blows up or he can do drive by honesty.

My wife is notorious for setting stuff down and then forgetting where she put it. I kept saying to her, "if you'd just put your keys on the key holder, then you'd know where they are." She finally said, "You know, I don't like it when you tell me that." I didn't feel my comment was disrespectful. But she did. And that's what matters. So I quit saying it to her.

A lot of truth here. We've had issues in the past where my wife doesn't respect the way I might feel about something. It is exactly as if to say, "you're stupid for feeling that way." In this particular case she could tell I felt insulted and followed it up with the usual, "I didn't mean it that way" comment. She has tougher skin than I do for sure, she grew in what I would consider an extremely disrespectful environment, and I've seen her mother insult her in some horrible ways and follow it up with a very matter of fact, "so would you like a cup of tea?" She calls me hyper-sensitive, but I consider myself quite normal and a person who knows the difference between an insult and a non-insult.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD