Originally Posted by markos
Originally Posted by CWMI
If she is indeed baiting you, stop taking the bait. Just ask her: are you looking for a fight, or are you looking for information?

I cannot speak for Tgrace, but if I said that to Prisca, she would consider it to be a disrespectful judgment. She would feel that I am disrespectfully suggesting that she should not have asked the question, or that there is something wrong with her question. If she wasn't looking for a fight when she asked the question, she would sure feel like fighting after I responded like that!

I think a better strategy is to simply provide the information. "No, I didn't do that. Would you like me to do that tonight?" Or, "No, I didn't do that, and I'm really not comfortable doing it."

Yes I would never ask my wife if she was looking for a fight. By responding "No, I didn't do that, and I'm really not comfortable doing it" I believe I'd be dishonest or telling half truths. I have no problem returning the stuff, I had a problem with my wife asking me if I had returned something that she did not ask me to return. The truth is I should have said, "No I didn't, did you ask me to? My bad if you did, if not I can tonight ok?" In retrospect that is the best answer for me personally. If I made up some reason why I didn't return it to diffuse the situation then that would violate my wife's most important EN which is H&O.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD