Originally Posted by MrNiceGuy
Originally Posted by CWMI
Eventually, with *consistent application* of MB concepts, they will see how it creates something better than what they had and thought they wanted.

Yup ... exactly. I fell short many times and ended up back at day one and in withdrawl many times .. over and over again. I would push MB and that would create HUGE fights (before we went to an MC that is) Eventually (because i was SO adamant about it) my wife finally caved in .. reluctantly of course after the MC failed) My wife was just tired of the fighting .. and said "ok .. fine .. lets try it your way .. but YOU do all the work. I am too mad at you to read or listen but I am tired of all this fighting something has to change)

I basicly berated her into MB.. becasue she originally wouldnt have ANYHTING to do with it because it was written by a man and she felt it was to get MY needs met and not hers. AFter she let me take the lead in MB ... many months went by and she started being receptive to it. I got alot of eye rolls .. and body language from her that suggested she was still not interested. But i kept up ... bought the books (more of them, i had HNHN) and as we read them (actually I did all the reading outloud while my wife listened reluctantly until we read lovebusters) something clicked ... something changed ... and she started being receptive .. and started feeling the changes after we read the book HNHN. SHe started listening to it in a manner that would get her to point out at ME what I was doing wrong. She wanted to use MB against me after that as a tool to get her way. I was fine with that (let it be her excuse) ... and things formulated from there.

I tried to encourage my wife to use MB against me (but acted offended sometimes as if she had the upper hand out of the deal) so she could hold me accountable in certain ways .. this proved to her that it was not all about JUST ME .. but that it was in fact for her too.


The reason(s) my wife has a bad taste about MB are the following:

1. She believes the forums convinced me that she was cheating(she wasn't) which sent me into a tail spin of paranoia and multiple accusations.
2. I preached.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD