Romans 12:9 (NLT)
9 Don�t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.
The apostle gives a statement of how we are to love others followed by the actions to do so. If we are to really love others we must hate what is evil and let that flow over into our lives that we do not perform acts of evil towards other. One example would be to hate the hate others may have towards another. If we ourselves are not to hate others, but to love them, then we must hate that which may lead us to hate. We must also make a deliberate choice to hold tightly to what is good. In order to do what is good we must hold tightly to God and separate ourselves from sin. We must fully understand the goodness of God and display it in our own lives.
A spouse can create good feelings about the marriage, increasing the sense of satisfaction, intimacy, and fun, all with a simple reaction. When a partner shares good news, actively respond. Dr. Shelly Gable, who helped author a UCLA research report on the subject, said, "It isn't enough just to listen passively." Gable says a partner needs to be active, offering hugs and even "high fives." When the responder does this, the other person immediately has tender feelings toward the supporting partner. This truth should transfer to all loving relationships. [Janine Pouliot, "The Secret to Feeling Closer," Ladies Home Journal (January 2005), p. 32]
This example is one way to love others without pretense. So often we may listen to the joys and pains of others, but we never act upon their words by rejoicing with them in their moment of happiness. The same holds true for those facing painful experiences, we often listen, may acknowledge them, but then do we truly go a step further to demonstrate our love to them by helping as we can? This is what the apostle was talking about, just don�t pretend to love others by listening, but put Godly action in our love they can see.