Thanks for your input on military marriages. Yeah honestly I would love if she could find a way to be happy and fill her time with things other than drinking or hanging out with these guys. If she would put up that wall, however that wall seems to lock her up for some reason... It almost feels like she wants a loving marriage while lacking the responsibilities of one. Could be due to this deployment, the nights alone, no more hugs, kisses goodnight and smiling looking in each others eyes. With those needs unmet, she could feel trapped and hopeless from not receiving face to face affection. And having poor knowledge herself, on how to establish safe boundaries, she is just going off believing she can control her emotions and ward off potential predators, trusting in people to respect the boundaries. She still claims she would never hang out one on one. And she would always stop a potential threat and inform me. I have not caught her, as it is impossible in this situation. But she has never been able to lie.. She has the worst poker face and can't hide what's she's done. Maybe she's detached and shutting down because she has feelings that are currently building for someone else, and is concerned and hurt that this could be the end of all we built. She does not want to get close to me to spill her guts about what's going on in her head, would rather distance herself til I gave up? And she can openly have this new relationship without guilt because we "just didn't work out"

Of course it won't work out if she doesn't want it to!