Update for all those following. The part where she left to get mouthwash and something to eat, well she came back 3 hours later openly telling me sorry and that she was with the guy ( that I believe the affair is with) at his dorm eating pizza watching tv. So 1. She didn't even go shopping and 2. She didn't go to the cafeteria. They ordered out and she hung out with him. I played it cool stating its ok and I was just hoping for 15 mins on the phone. She still wanted to, or agreed to.. We talked, my voice cracked from holding tears, she acted sympathetic and said don't be like that, we are trying. And I'm agreeing like yes I'm just so happy you're willing to work with me, I won't give up on us, and talking about other random things, we shared some laughs, we used some pet names, and at one point she hung up on me and refused to answer again because she was "too sad" hearing me like that.
I think it's to a point now where she knows what she is wrong and feels guilt over it, she knows she is not putting the effort needed to save us, and it's hurting me. She may not blame me as much now as she starts to feel like a terrible cheating wife.Though she can't stop, that addictive quality of the new affair, it's like a drug you can't say no to, and imagining now being without it, can bring more sadness.
I think this is good news. She is starting to feel maybe, starting to remember again? If she has the strength through my encouragement and endless unconditional love, she may be able to tell this new love it won't work between them, as I break down her barriers slowly but surely. Whaddya think?