If anyone would be so kind as to help me figure out how to implement Plan A in my situation.

right now she is currently working with me in discussing our future Air Force careers. She's speaking as if she will really be a part of my life later, it could be a ploy to get me independent and out of her hair. But I'm taking these discussions as a good thing regardless. She's not ignoring me anymore.


She's been a little more affectionate, but as I read on these forums, the sadly humorous yet true, " mid life crisis" step by step of a wayward. To string me along until I call it quits from exhaustion, she can be minimally nice every now and then to keep me barely breathing. Sent me a nude picture tonight.


She is still gone most of the day without contact with me, still blocked on some social networking sites where she posts blatant "wild party girl" type photos. She's trying to find herself in all the wrong places, like the bottom of a bottle. But from close analysis i see she still wore her ring out clubbing. & She surprisingly posted on my Facebook wall "loving you<3"


Still insists she's not cheating and I haven't dug up concrete evidence as its nearly possible from overseas and being military. They say not to attack until you know everything and have a solid plan to expose.

So How do I compete for her attention and hold out my hand for a loving and safe marriage as laid out in Plan A, if I can't expose or prove cheating and offer forgiveness? Do I just do everything the same minus the exposure? Letting her know if she wants to come back we can forgive each other, almost speaking as if I know something is fishy but won't try to nail it?

All the signs are there. "I feel smothered" "I don't feel the same" "I need time" changing her passwords, disappearing for hours on end, not telling me where she goes or what she does, yet returns from the disappearances with a Lame excuse and is very polite to me, drinking, found that video of a sleazy guy in a club way too close to her(random bar guy but c'mon still way wrong), 10% of her original affection shown to me, doesn't like me complimenting her too much, feels like I'm "friend zoned".

She has always been very jealous, I said a friend of mine wanted to drive two hours away to a great pizza place with me, I told her. She returned immediately with "hah probably so he can meet some slutty girls?" As if mad that I may encounter females on a pizza dinner. I said no it's just us, and she basically gave me the "whatever" reply and shut down. I cancelled with my friend and let her win, I lied and said "yeah you were right he was going to meet some skanks, I don't need that" and we joked together and she went to bed "happy". So we see now that she can do no wrong by boozing til 3am with single guys, but god forbid I eat pizza with a friends friend....


My game plan (unless directed otherwise by you guys) is to just go to basic training as soon as possible, up until then implement Plan A in a way that doesn't involve exposure because I can't possibly expose anything unless I try this 600 dollar iPhone spy idea. I won't let my emotions ruin our conversations, and will try not to let love busters out no matter how bad my taker wants to just scream WILL YOU JUST STOP DRINKING WITH THESE IDIOTS AND PUTTING YOURSELF OUT THERE LIKE A SINGLE WH**E!? I like the analogy of throwing stones in a river, it will feel like an eternity with no progress shown until all the sudden the stones start showing out of the water and a bridge is made. I will try to play the "art of war" with her with my spying and snooping as best as possible. Reminding her of our future plans, how happy we were, and how well I'm doing physically and mentally lately, so she sees I'm an attractive mate.

I'm just very concerned as you guys say Plan A is so shaky when not done right, what do you think would happen if I played it "cool" like this, she went out, possibly Has a continued affair or numerous one nighters, and I weather the pain and still show her love until she sees me in the Air Force finally, making good money, looking good and feeling good, and decides she wants to become a real wife and the "party is over"? I'm afraid if this does drag on 5-6 more months then it will be almost impossible to pull her out of that depraved ditch she is in, that she simply won't want to try. She would have to initiate the divorce though, as I will not participate. I just don't see her doing that if I'm making these efforts for her, though time can change so much, especially spending every day the next half a year, apart. Even with the plans to see each other in the "future", it can be out if sight out of mind for her now.,,


Sorry I type a lot, I have a writers brain and lately as you know how it goes, my thoughts are chaotic and constant, like a barrage of bombs constantly being dropped inside my head.