Originally Posted by living_well
Originally Posted by nscriv
The thing is, it's all very well to to focus solely on the love busters that I am guilty of. The fact that I am candid about that should show that I am serious about doing what I need to. But I'm also not prepared to be the only one making the effort if all that would result in is me being used like a doormat.

A doormat is how you describe your situation right now so how could a change be worse?

Originally Posted by nscriv
I don't think that she is completely withdrawn either. After coming across an article 'buyers, renters and freeloaders' she has many of the characterstics described under freeloader.

Of course she is a freeloader. That is exactly what a withdrawn spouse is.

It is a bit presumptuous to assume that she is freeloading because she is a withdrawn spouse.

I blame myself for getting into this, but the more I reflect on the situation I realise that this has been this way from early on.

We used to be very good friends prior to entering into a relationship, and when I entered into the relationship I also committed to raising her son. This was from birth, the biological father had abandoned her. So it was never something that I ever considered would be less than permanent. I guess I gave her a bit more slack early on as I knew she had to put focus into the baby, and so couldn't expect as much.