Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 24 of 25 1 2 22 23 24 25
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
From AoM, cherry picked to fit conversation with your wife.

Quote
3. Never interrupt anyone who is speaking; it is quite rude to officiously supply a name or date about which another hesitates, unless you are asked to do so. Another gross breach of etiquette is to anticipate the point of a story which another person is reciting, or to take it from his lips to finish it in your own language. Some persons plead as an excuse for this breach of etiquette, that the reciter was spoiling a good story by a bad manner, but this does not mend the matter. It is surely rude to give a man to understand that you do not consider him capable of finishing an anecdote that he has commenced.

4. It is ill-bred to put on an air of weariness during a long speech from another person, and quite as rude to look at a watch, read a letter, flirt the leaves of a book, or in any other action show that you are tired of the speaker or his subject.

10. It is as great an accomplishment to listen with an air of interest and attention, as it is to speak well. To be a good listener is as indispensable as to be a good talker, and it is in the character of listener that you can most readily detect the man who is accustomed to good society.

15. In speaking of your friends, do not compare them, one with another. Speak of the merits of each one, but do not try to heighten the virtues of one by contrasting them with the vices of another.


18. Avoid set phrases, and use quotations but rarely. They sometimes make a very piquant addition to conversation, but when they become a constant habit, they are exceedingly tedious, and in bad taste.

20. Speak your own language correctly; at the same time do not be too great a stickler for formal correctness of phrases.

21. Never notice it if others make mistakes in language. To notice by word or look such errors in those around you is excessively ill-bred.

29. To use phrases which admit of a double meaning, is ungentlemanly.


30. If you find you are becoming angry in a conversation, either turn to another subject or keep silence. You may utter, in the heat of passion, words which you would never use in a calmer moment, and which you would bitterly repent when they were once said.


37. A lady of sense will feel more complimented if you converse with her upon instructive, high subjects, than if you address to her only the language of compliment. In the latter case she will conclude that you consider her incapable of discussing higher subjects, and you cannot expect her to be pleased at being considered merely a silly, vain person, who must be flattered into good humor.



Supplementary notes:

#3 - turn off the TV, put the phone/tablet down. Log off the computer. Undivided Attention.

#4/#10 - friends of good conversation.

#15 - vocalization of contrast, disrespectful judgement. "Why do you XXX, when so-and-so YYY."

#18 - Agreed upon safety phrases? Ok. But, I'll bet a wooden nickel that it would not be advised in conversation to tell your spouse "But, Dr. Harley says...!" Leave that to worksheets, coaching sessions, radio calls, and forum posts. NEVER to your spouse.

#21 - GUILTY. DJ; correcting your spouse's speech.

#29 - If she doesn't like to be groped, she probably doesn't also want to hear "Oh, I'll COOK YOUR DINNER alright! Wah ha!"

#30 - Basic avoidance of emotional outbursts.

#37 - Like seasoning; none is bland, too much ruins the dish.


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
Stumbled across an interesting deal... a guy who made Machina based on World of Warcraft is retiring from making Machina.

Why I'm Retiring from Movie Making

Key reasons?

Quote
Today, I released my final movie, Into the Tin. It is my final movie, not because I�ve grown bored with movie making, but because it demands time I don�t have. Of course, my story is no different than yours � who has time to make machinima? We all work, and many of us have spouses and children. Family is a man�s number one priority, and in order to provide, one must work. When work and family take up all hours of the day, then something has to go. These are my normal, non-unique reasons for giving up movie making.

Quote
When I was single and in college, I never really appreciated the time and sleepless nights movie making requires. Now, I value that time so much more, because (as cheeky as it sounds) every minute spent movie making is a minute away from my wife. Every night spent animating is a night I miss with my baby son.


This was a man's passionate hobby... but when it comes down to it... something has to go.

I think he made the right choice.

Last edited by HoldHerHand; 07/20/13 04:08 PM.

"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1


You ain't gonna believe this, but you used to fit right here. I'd hold you up to say to your mother, "this kid's gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid's gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew."

And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watching you, every day was like a privilege. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did.

But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow.


Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.

You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life.

But it ain't about how hard you're hit.

It's about how hard you can get it and

keep

moving

forward.

How much you can take and

keep

moving

forward.

That's how winning is done!

Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth!!!

But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody!

Cowards do that and that ain't you!


You're better than that!



I'm always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain't gonna have a life. Don't forget to visit your mother.




......





"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 571
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 571
Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
Stumbled across an interesting deal... a guy who made Machina based on World of Warcraft is retiring from making Machina.

Why I'm Retiring from Movie Making

Key reasons?

Quote
Today, I released my final movie, Into the Tin. It is my final movie, not because I�ve grown bored with movie making, but because it demands time I don�t have. Of course, my story is no different than yours � who has time to make machinima? We all work, and many of us have spouses and children. Family is a man�s number one priority, and in order to provide, one must work. When work and family take up all hours of the day, then something has to go. These are my normal, non-unique reasons for giving up movie making.

Quote
When I was single and in college, I never really appreciated the time and sleepless nights movie making requires. Now, I value that time so much more, because (as cheeky as it sounds) every minute spent movie making is a minute away from my wife. Every night spent animating is a night I miss with my baby son.


This was a man's passionate hobby... but when it comes down to it... something has to go.

I think he made the right choice.

Well, having read the blog post, I think this is a bit of selective editing. Most of it is how he couldn't sufficiently monetize it and wasn't getting enough business support. He also said he would continue to do some related activities in his spare time. So he's not really entirely throwing away his passion IMV...just the most costly iteration of it.

Last edited by kerala; 08/11/13 08:43 AM.
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by kerala
Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
Stumbled across an interesting deal... a guy who made Machina based on World of Warcraft is retiring from making Machina.

Why I'm Retiring from Movie Making

Key reasons?

Quote
Today, I released my final movie, Into the Tin. It is my final movie, not because I�ve grown bored with movie making, but because it demands time I don�t have. Of course, my story is no different than yours � who has time to make machinima? We all work, and many of us have spouses and children. Family is a man�s number one priority, and in order to provide, one must work. When work and family take up all hours of the day, then something has to go. These are my normal, non-unique reasons for giving up movie making.

Quote
When I was single and in college, I never really appreciated the time and sleepless nights movie making requires. Now, I value that time so much more, because (as cheeky as it sounds) every minute spent movie making is a minute away from my wife. Every night spent animating is a night I miss with my baby son.


This was a man's passionate hobby... but when it comes down to it... something has to go.

I think he made the right choice.

Well, having read the blog post, I think this is a bit of selective editing. Most of it is how he couldn't sufficiently monetize it and wasn't getting enough business support. He also said he would continue to do some related activities in his spare time. So he's not really entirely throwing away his passion IMV...just the most costly iteration of it.


Monetization was drawn out to; make enough money to have it as a full-time job, which it would have to be to remain a part of his life.


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1



Primer to a series on Integrity from AoM.


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
I've started a grow a mustache...
I followed the guidelines on Art of Manliness and use mustache wax and comb it daily.

I've also been using Brut deodorant and cologne...

Speaking of cologne, what is everyones favorite?
This article was informative: http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/01/10/6-forgotten-drugstore-colognes-and-aftershaves/

Do any women out there have an opinion of Brut?

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 571
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 571
I dunno Jedi - I think that many North American women do not like facial hair.

My husband has a trim mustache and beard and I love it (as long as he goes clean-shaven every few years). But I seem to be in the minority.

No opinion about Brut. My favourite is Acqua di Gio by Armani.

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
I read a recent article where women surveyed said they favored clean shaved men.
The scientists thought that it was because women have evolved and no longer feel the need for a caveman to protect them....

Tom Selleck inspired me to grow one...

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Do any women out there have an opinion of Brut?

I think its revolting. Did you know they once sold it in a plastic bottle in 7-11?? crazy My all time favorite men's cologne is Fahrenheit by Dior. love it! laugh


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
I suppose I favored Brut because my grandfather used it.
I've always used it or Old Spice

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Originally Posted by kerala
I dunno Jedi - I think that many North American women do not like facial hair.

My husband has a trim mustache and beard and I love it (as long as he goes clean-shaven every few years). But I seem to be in the minority.

Actually, Dr Harley has a mustache.

Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 106
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 106
He also has a wife.

Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 209
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 209
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
I suppose I favored Brut because my grandfather used it.
I've always used it or Old Spice

I've been banned from using any Brut or Old Spice product BECAUSE DWs father and grandfather used them. Smell is one of the most powerful senses. FWIW, I would look into something newer that potential dates wouldn't associate with other men in their life.

I would totally grow a beard if job allowed...but no 'stache. I came home from sea once with a "Tom Sellick" and DW couldn't stop laughing. DS (2 at the time) stroked it and asked "what happened?"


Me: BH, 36 Military Officer
FWS: 36, repeat offender
Married: Valentine's Day 1998
DD-15/ DS-10
Almost recovered and ahead of schedule
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,956
Likes: 1
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,956
Likes: 1
I like the way a mustache looks, most of the time, but my face simply can't handle the scratchiness. My H grew one for a bit a couple of years ago, because the base was commemorating a historical guy who had a mustache. I really really tried to like it and enjoy it...but, after about three weeks, he went to the base meeting and announced that the mustache was cutting into his love life and therefore, no offense to those who were sporting one or to the guy they were commemorating, the mustache was going.

As to smell, lots of women love cologne on a man. I like just the smell of clean. My H doesn't wear aftershave or even a scented deodorant because of my abnormally particular nose.


Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010

Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
I've started a grow a mustache...
I followed the guidelines on Art of Manliness and use mustache wax and comb it daily.

I've also been using Brut deodorant and cologne...

Speaking of cologne, what is everyones favorite?
This article was informative: http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/01/10/6-forgotten-drugstore-colognes-and-aftershaves/

Do any women out there have an opinion of Brut?


My beard is per my wife's request.

I have kind of a round, cherubic face... so a trimmed beard with an angle squares my jaw.

Colognes; Coolowater, and Drakkar Noir.

Though, I don't mind a little English Leather here and there, as well as Aspen.


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,066
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,066
HHH, glad to see you around smile


Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
I do not use stink water.

Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 286
What ever makes DW stop in mid sentence and burry her head in my neck! Currently it is Gray Flannel.


Me 59 newly married after being a widow
Married 1 year
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Gray Flannel!
Is that on the AOM list of drugstore colognes?

Page 24 of 25 1 2 22 23 24 25

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,116 guests, and 67 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5