Just wanted to update. I've joined three online sites- Eharmony, OKCupid, and Tinder. EHarmony is the least effective. I've only had one match in 6 weeks. I sent him a smile, but he didn't respond. Tinder is nice because only people you have liked can message you. This means I have far fewer messages to sort through. But you have to chat to determine compatibility. PA is not a top need for me, so I find myself not using this app very often. I like OK Cupid. I like the compatibility section. I can easily check a guy's profile and see if I'm interested in messaging back.

Thus far I've dated IT guy, whom I broke it off with because I felt I needed to find someone with more compatibility. I breifly dated another guy- crunchy guy whom I had very high compatibility but he wouldn't continue to date me if I wanted to date around (30 dates). I've gone on several first dates.

I'm wondering what the best way is for a women to let a guy know she's interested on these sights. I believe the man should be the pursuer, but I'd like to be proactively looking for guys, rather than waiting for someone to find me. So If I come across someone interesting, how can I initiate something without coming across as the persuer?

BS-me 35
DS- 3.5 yrs old
DD 2 yrs old
Married for eleven years, together for fifteen
DDay August 2012 Found inappropriate text message
12/7/12 knew for sure he was sexting with men
12/9/12 Partial exposure, and truth about PA's revealed by WH
12/19/12 Full exposure
1/9/13 Plan B
Jan 2013 filed for divorce
1/27/2014 Divorce finalized