With OKCupid, normally just the looking at my profile caught my attention. If the site notified me that a woman had been looking at me, I normally looked at her profile in return and messaged if I was interested. I normally had better success with this than cold messaging because I figured they "might" be interested if they took the time to glance at my profile after seeing my picture. So... My advice to you would be to search out and look at profiles of guys you might be interested in. Don't wink, don't message; just look.

Age - 35
Divorce Final - 3/5/12

S - 13
S - 10
D - 8