Green, I totally understand, after being in a bad relationship for 15 years, it's a lot harder to slow down and wait than it is for the young kids who don't know what they are missing.

For numbers 2 and 3, it sounds like you may be dealing with an overactive giver? My mom had the same talks with me, as indie had with you, stop making yourself so available, take the time you need for yourself, too, let them take you out. If they are angry that you're not as into them as they are into you, that's a sign they're not willing to do the work. You would need two givers in check for a good relationship, not you doing all the work and your partner upset when you're not convinced you want more of the same.

Me 40, OD 18 and YD 13
Married 15 years, Divorced 10/2010