Jedi- What gives you the impression that I am rushing or going too fast?

Just me: I initially broke up with IT guy because we had too many differences on some of the major areas I was looking for compatibility- religion, politics, parenting. I choose IT guy over salsa guy because I felt I had a stronger emotional connection with IT guy and, to be honest, I was more physically attracted to IT guy. I broke up with IT guy the second time because he stopped putting in effort and I felt we didn't match sexually. My drive was much higher than his. There were several concerns I had about salsa guy. We've stayed friends and at this point the only two concerns I have left are that he teaches salsa classes which means he is surrounded by women all the time due to the nature of his job. That worries me only because of being cheated on- I'm not looking to take any huge risks this time around. And secondly- I am not that physically attracted to him. I hate that part because I feel really shallow, but if he looked like- oh I don't know insert handsome movie star here, I would still be dating him.

As far as how dating takes it toll- I am really bad at being single. I absolutely hate alone time. I have plenty of hobbies, and friends, but I just have always felt it is more fun to experience life with a partner. I am very extroverted. Yes I'm lonely, Yes I need male companionship! Yes I need to feel admired! I need to be touched! Ugh. Needy. This is what I mean about feeling like I'm on empty all the time.

NED: I definitely struggle with an overactive giver. However, I do feel that every person I've dated has been really terrific. They aren't angry with me- they are sad because they want to still be with me. And I feel bad for hurting them- even though I logically know I must make the choice that is best for me, and that they'll get over it.

I have a tendency to prefer to get to know my friends better rather than make new ones. I feel this transferring into dating. I've been cycling around a few guys for most of this year instead of moving on and meeting new people. I just need to bite the bullet and get back out there. I really wish I could meet more people when I'm out. Meeting on a dating site puts lots of pressure on that you are dating. I'd rather meet someone out and see where that went. So much less pressure. But unfortunately- I meet few people my age I'm attracted to.

I'm stepping out and putting all my stuff back online tonight. Wish me luck!

BS-me 35
DS- 3.5 yrs old
DD 2 yrs old
Married for eleven years, together for fifteen
DDay August 2012 Found inappropriate text message
12/7/12 knew for sure he was sexting with men
12/9/12 Partial exposure, and truth about PA's revealed by WH
12/19/12 Full exposure
1/9/13 Plan B
Jan 2013 filed for divorce
1/27/2014 Divorce finalized